A PARENT-LED MOVEMENT. FOUNDED IN THE DROP-OFF LINE AT 7:14 A.M.

ENOUGH DAYS.

5' 4'6" 4' 3'6" 3' ICE CREAM DAY 10.12.26 WESTERN DAY 10.13.26 ALIEN DAY 10.14.26 CRAZY HAIR DAY 10.15.26

We packed the lunch. We found the other shoe. We are not also building a pineapple by 7:15 a.m.

SIGN THE PLEDGE SEE THE EVIDENCE
TIE DYE DAY/ PIRATE DAY/ POLKA DOT DAY/ NERD DAY/ SPACED OUT DAY/ WORKOUT GEAR DAY/ CAMO DAY/ BABY PICTURE DAY/

THIS WEEK IS A LOT.

Monday is Tie Dye Day, and the bathtub is still blue. Tuesday is Nerd Day, so a second grader is wearing your reading glasses and walking into walls. Wednesday is Pirate Day. Thursday is Workout Gear Day, and your leggings are now his leggings. Friday is Class Color Day, and nobody knows the class colors.

5 theme days in one school week.
9:47 p.m. Sunday, when the newsletter went out.
22 minutes looking for an eye patch. Settled on a sock and a shoelace.
0 parents who were consulted.

Source: the carpool line. Margin of error: none.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY.

EXHIBIT ATHREAT LEVEL: HURTFUL

OLD PEOPLE DAY

THE FLYER SAYS

"Dress like a senior citizen!"

PARENT TRANSLATION

She opened my closet, looked around and said, "Oh, this is easy." I am 41.

EXHIBIT BTHREAT LEVEL: WEATHER

BEACH DAY

THE FLYER SAYS

"Bring on the summer vibes!"

PARENT TRANSLATION

It is 46 degrees. He is at the bus stop in flip-flops, a snorkel and a parka.

EXHIBIT CTHREAT LEVEL: GENERATIONAL

MEME DAY

THE FLYER SAYS

"Dress as your favorite meme!"

PARENT TRANSLATION

I asked my 9-year-old what that means. He sighed and said I wouldn't get it. He was right.

EXHIBIT DTHREAT LEVEL: PERSONAL

TACKY TOURIST DAY

THE FLYER SAYS

"Grab your fanny pack and camera!"

PARENT TRANSLATION

He wore my actual vacation outfit. The teacher said it was "spot on."

EXHIBIT ETHREAT LEVEL: VINTAGE

'80S DAY

THE FLYER SAYS

"Totally radical, dude!"

PARENT TRANSLATION

Mom was alive for the '80s. Mom kept nothing from the '80s.

EXHIBIT FTHREAT LEVEL: LAUNDRY

CRAZY SOCK DAY

THE FLYER SAYS

"Show off your wildest socks!"

PARENT TRANSLATION

We cannot find two matching socks on a normal day. Every day is Crazy Sock Day.

OUR DEMANDS.

Reasonable. Non-negotiable. Written in the car.

  1. 1
    72 HOURS' NOTICE.A newsletter sent Sunday at 9:47 p.m. is an ambush.
  2. 2
    ONE THEME PER WEEK.Not five. One. We will do our best with the one.
  3. 3
    HOUSEHOLD ITEMS ONLY.If it requires felt, a glue gun or a trip to the craft store, it is denied.
  4. 4
    NO DAYS WE HAVE TO GOOGLE.If a parent has to search "what do you wear for Spaced Out Day," the day is canceled.
  5. 5
    PAJAMA DAY, EVERY DAY.This is our compromise. It is generous.

WE HAVE SEEN THINGS.

Superhero Day, he wore a bath towel as a cape. Pirate Day, the towel went on his head. By Camo Day, the towel had given up.
DAD OF 3, DOWN ONE TOWEL
Tacky Sweater Day was in October. Do you know where Christmas sweaters are in October? The attic. Behind the tree. Under the other Christmas stuff.
MOM OF 2, STILL IN THE ATTIC
Jersey Day. We are a Gamecocks house. My son wore a Clemson jersey to make a point. We are no longer speaking.
DAD OF 1, HOUSE DIVIDED

I'M OUT.

I pledge that my child will wear a regular shirt to school, and we will both be fine.

11,482 parents have stopped trying.

We will never text you about a theme day.

GEAR FOR THE DONE.

Wear it on Saturday. Wear it on Hat Day. Wear it in the drop-off line.

HAT DAY IS EVERY DAY

HAT DAY IS EVERY DAY TRUCKER

Black trucker, yellow type, mesh back. Counts as a costume on any theme day.

$28
I SURVIVED SPIRIT WEEK. MY GLUE GUN DID NOT.

I SURVIVED SPIRIT WEEK TEE

Bubblegum pink, heavyweight cotton. Honors the glue gun we lost along the way.

$32
THIS HOUSE OWNS ZERO EYE PATCHES.

ZERO EYE PATCHES YARD SIGN

18 x 24, yellow, stake included. Lets the school know where your household stands.

$22

Proceeds fund nothing. We were too tired to set up a fund, or a real store. None of this is real. Are we even awake right now?